What Is Real, Or Just A Dream
by Blue.Rose.Marcella
Summary: *SPOILERS FOR OOTP* A tormented soul reflects on the death of a friend and discovers that the friend left something very important behind which is in need of delivering...


_**WARNING: SPOILERS FOR OOTP. **_

A/N: Hey, guys. Well, as is the majority of the Harry Potter Fan community, I was extremely upset with the death of Sirius. My favorite characters are Ron, Lupin, Weasley twins, and Sirius. I was praying through the whole book that none of the five would die. However, I did not get my wish. If you have some annoyances about the most recent novel, please visit my website at and find my ranting page...Please respond and tell me how it made you feel. 

**Summary:** Remus spends time reflecting on his friendship with Sirius, and discovers that Sirius has left something very important behind that Remus must deliver to Harry... 

**Disclaimer:** J.K. Rowling owns the characters (and kills them! Oh, sorry, couldn't contain myself...) and Lifehouse owns the song "Somewhere In Between_." _

**Claimer:** I felt compelled to write this out of my own grief. Therefore I own the plot. I think it turned out rather well. Please R/R. 

*~*...~*~...*~*...~*~...*~*  
**_"What Is Real, Or Just A Dream"  
Songfic To: "Somewhere In Between" By Lifehouse  
Written by: Marcie  
_***~*...~*~...*~*...~*~...*~* 

The atmosphere in Hogsmeade that July afternoon was unlike most had been prior to it. Through the summer holidays, beautiful weather was most often present. Now, however, the streets were being pummeled with raindrops and serenaded with the gentle rumbles of thunder in the distance. People were running to and fro, holding copies of _The Daily Prophet_ over their heads to deflect the rain, attempting to find shelter away from the wetness.  


Three Broomsticks was particularly crowded that night, several witches and wizards taking refuge in the dry building and sipping on some Butterbeer to warm themselves up in preparation for the journey back outdoors into the messy weather. There was a couple huddled together in one of the booths nearby, warming one another up and smiling lovingly. Madam Rosmerta was so preoccupied with customers that she hardly had a moment's rest to interact with them.  


Remus Lupin was one of the occupants of the bar that night, sipping on his own Butterbeer and reading through the headlines of his own sopping copy of _The Daily Prophet_, perusing its articles in hopes to find one dedicated to his closest friend's death. There was another article starring Harry, a special on Lockhart's improving condition in St. Mungos, a couple of Death Eater sightings, but nothing that mourned the loss of Sirius Black.  


Lupin lowered his magazine back onto the table in defeat, running shaking fingers through his hair. Remus had always appeared much older than he truly was, stresses of his life apparent through his features. His face harbored premature wrinkles and his hair sprouted gray strands daily, mingling with his natural color of light brown. There had been enough occurrences in his life for him to appear a higher age. Not only did he suffer under a full moon each month, (having just undergone a transformation the previous day), though sometimes with Snape's helpful Wolfsbane potion, but also he had already been forced to cope with the loss of one of his best friends already, before this happening.  


~*~…*~*…~*~…*~*…~*~  
**I can't be losing sleep over this  
No, I can't  
And now I cannot stop pacing  
Give me a few hours   
I'll have all this sorted out  
If my mind would just stop racing  
**~*~…*~*…~*~…*~*…~*~ 

Now he had been forced to endure the look on Sirius's face as he fell over, dead. The face that haunted his dreams almost every night. Harry's expression as Remus, Arthur, Tonk, and Mad-Eye escorted Harry to his aunt and uncle at the end of term. Harry was suffering the same loss that Lupin was. The loss of a best friend; a mentor; a reason for being alive. Sirius had been Harry's only chance at a real family, at a solid reminder of his father. Not only that, but Sirius had shown Harry love that he could never fathom. Not even from the Weasleys. While Molly and Arthur did indeed dote on him as an extended son, it was not the same as being in the presence of his godfather. A godfather who would have done _anything_ to protect him. Who had escaped from Azkaban Prison to keep watch over him once he had learned of Peter's Animagus form serving as the Weasley pet, Scabbers. Who had lingered in nearby cave dwellings with a Hippogriff, living off rats alone, to keep a close eye on Harry's well being. Under circumstances like that, it just wasn't as same as the Weasley's care.  


And _that_ was what Remus called dedication and selfless, unconditional love. It was the way James would have loved. It was the way Sirius had always wanted to be. And now, with that in mind, the lines tracing the tough skin of Remus Lupin's face had begun to sink deeper as his face aged even further with the new distress.  


Remus lowered his Butterbeer, suddenly no longer feeling thirst. Through his mental protests, his mind wandered back to the scene…  


~*~

  


_Remus was feeling drained, but maintained strength sufficient to finish the fight. The atmosphere was intense and the dueling equally so. It was not as though he shouldn't have expected the battle. He had been warned the moment he joined The Order. Though still, he had never been one keen on risking his or another's life for a test of power.  


He managed to stun Crabbe, and in the nick of time, as well. Harry and a leg-twitching, nose-bleeding Neville Longbottom had been cornered by Malfoy. Lupin fled to them, wand out, arm pumping along with him as he ran. He had to get close enough so as not to suffer interference with his curse. He aimed his wand towards Malfoy's backside. However, the spell in mind was not necessary, for Harry had taken the initiative.  


"_Impedimenta_!" the fifth-year cried, his voice sounding strangely hoarse and strained. Malfoy smashed down into the dais, nearby to Sirius and Bellatrix. As Lupin passed, Sirius gave him a wink and launched yet another hex in his cousin's direction. Malfoy was regaining his strength, the sneer practically burning through his Death Eater's mask. He was aiming back at the boys. Lupin took the opportunity and leapt in his path, disallowing any harm to his former students. Malfoy looked enraged.  


"Harry, round up the others and GO!" Lupin shouted over his shoulder. Once Malfoy had risen to his feet, he aimed the death curse in Remus's direction. However, the werewolf was far too fast for him as he leapt out of the way and aimed a Disarming spell at the dark wizard.  


Their dueling continued on for a few moments, Lupin continually glancing over his shoulder to be sure Harry was out of harms way. Nonsense, James's son was far too like his father when it came to bravery. It swelled in their hearts and nothing cut them down.  


Once Dumbledore made his dramatic appearance, the Order felt a brush of relief, knowing that the situation was now being placed in the appropriate hands. Malfoy fled in terror, scrambling away to find his foul master. Remus nearly pocketed his wand but thought better of it, keeping it out and himself on guard.  


Bellatrix and Sirius were still going at it. Bellatrix had a malicious glint in her eyes, growing impatient with Sirius's lack of angry responses in their duel. He had merely been smiling at her, that same grin that had always been present on his face when met with a challenge. Lupin distinctly remembered that look having been glued into place the first time his took his Animagus form of Padfoot…  


Sirius ducked the beam of light surging out of the point of Bellatrix's wand, chuckling triumphantly under his breath. "Come on, you can do better than that!" His voice reverberated on the walls, the words returning to Lupin's ears more than twice.  


And then, she did. She aimed at him once more, straight into the chest. Sirius's eyes went wide with shock, but his triumphant smile still reigned across his lips as he began to fall…Falling…never stopping…Bellatrix shrieking in satisfaction… _

~*~…*~*…~*~…*~*…~*~  
**I cannot stand still  
I can't be this unsturdy  
This cannot be happening  
**~*~…*~*…~*~…*~*…~*~ 

It all flashed before his eyes. Sirius transforming into a dog…Sirius and James setting off fireworks underneath Snape's desk in Transfiguration…The look on his face when he heard of James's and Lily's deaths…Remus's unspeakable joy as he heard Black's tale only two years ago, learning of his innocence and Peter's betrayal. How much more relieving it was to know that his best friend of the lot had not been the traitor at all, and that it had been the one he always had misgivings about.  


Sirius Zeffolon Black, the unstoppable…Finally being stopped…  


Remus stared on in sorrow, hearing Harry's cries of remorse. The werewolf, upon instinct, would have joined in with his wails in an instant, however, maintained his composure, blinking back the tears that were surfacing in his eyes. Not in front of Harry. He had to stay strong for Harry. For Sirius…_  


Lupin took Sirius's own duties upon him, knowing that it would be his best friend's will. He lunged forward and took hold of a sweating, disheveled Harry, holding him tight around the chest. He debated for a moment whether to make use of his wand in the situation, but decided against it. He did not want to impose any sort of pain or authority over Harry. _Harry…_  


"There's nothing you can do, Harry—" Lupin began, the stern strength in his voice well feigned. He felt it breaking, but knew that it was undetectable to any other ears.  


"We can still reach him—" Harry protested fervently, trying to wriggle from Remus's hold. Lupin closed his eyes briefly, again trying to suppress his tears and remain determined for Harry.  


"There's nothing you can do, Harry…nothing…He's gone."  


"He hasn't gone!" Harry protested, still struggling to free himself from Lupin's hold. "SIRIUS! SIRIUS!"  


Lupin found Harry's cries of woe to be the breaking of his barrier. He took another deep breath. "He can't come back, Harry," he began softly, hearing now that his voice was breaking significantly. "He can't come back, because he's d—" "HE—IS—NOT—DEAD!" Harry screamed defiantly. "SIRIUS!"  


Lupin choked back his own sobs and began to drag Harry away from the scene, away from his godfather's corpse, away from the memory…Though Lupin knew, as well as Harry, that the scene would be lodged in their minds forever and would not perish for as long as they both lived.  


_

~*~

  


Lupin closed his eyes to dam the tears that he had shed often since Sirius's death. Not only was it the last member of the Marauders for him to lose (excluding Peter, the foul traitor), but he felt as though it was his fault. When Remus had signed onto the project for The Order Of The Phoenix, Sirius had whole-heartedly agreed. They had argued about it very briefly, Lupin warning Sirius of the dangers they would be facing, especially Sirius, who was already on the run from the Ministry and Dementors alike. However, Sirius had won the argument, as he always had. If only Lupin could have persuaded him otherwise… 

_~*~…*~*…~*~…*~*…~*~  
**This is over my head  
But underneath my feet  
'Cause by tomorrow morning  
I'll have this thing beat  
**~*~…*~*…~*~…*~*…~*~_

"Ah, my dear friend, Remus," cooed Madam Rosmerta, relinquishing her tray onto the table-top and taking a seat opposite from her old friend, finally with room for a break now that the weather was clearing up. Immediately she noted the distress in Remus's eyes and tilted her head at him. "Remus, my dear, what's the matter?"  


'Oh, nothing,' Remus thought bitterly, imagining the scenario that would take place if he decided to bluntly explain. 'Well, you remember that bloke, Sirius Black, my best friend, who used to come in here with James and hit on you? Ah, yes, right you are, he was arrested nearly fifteen years ago, yes! Well, turns out he's innocent. Yes, hold your gasps until the end, please…Yes well he died after we failed at a top secret mission. Is it making sense yet?' That would be cheery, indeed…  


"Are you sure? Would you like another Butterbeer? On the house, love," Madam Rosmerta offered, gesturing to the bottle he had nearly completed. With a lack of any sort of appetite, Remus gently pushed the beverage away from himself, shaking his head gently.  


"I'm quite finished, but thank you," he reassured, gathering his _Prophet_ and briefcase and rising to his feet. "I must be off, I'm afraid. Do take care." With that, he lowered his lips in a short peck on Madam Rosmerta's cheek, beginning to trudge away.  


"Yes, bye now, come back soon," Madam Rosmerta called after him hopefully. Remus did not turn around. The moment he was out of any possibly Muggle eyes, he Disapparated into his home. The kitchen was completely unkempt since he had begun his position in The Order, feeling the need to dedicate his time and concentration to that rather than cleaning. He let loose an almighty sigh; now was a better time than ever. 

_

~*~…*~*…~*~…*~*…~*~**  
And everything will be back  
To the way that it was  
I wish that   
It was just that easy  
**~*~…*~*…~*~…*~*…~*~

_

He immediately made a beeline towards the unruly stack of parchment on his counter, levitating it over to the table and sitting down beside it, reciting the sorting spell. One pile began to form, holding business letters and such. Another was for Order business, which he sheepishly realized he should not have had lying about. Another was a pile of letters from friends. One in particular caught his eye, however, just as it was sailing into its corresponding area. He caught it before it could reach the pile and skimmed over it with bated breath.  


_Dear Remus-  


How's it going, mate? Not badly on this end. For a Hippogriff, Buckbeak snores amazingly precisely like James!  


I regret to inform you that this is about the gist of my humor in this particular letter. If you're reading this, it means I've gone. Don't be alarmed, I've enchanted the parchment to appear in your house. So upon the event of my death, it will have materialized wherever you reside. That way it will be sure to reach you, and guaranteed not to fall into the wrong hands. Gloomy to think about, I reckon. But think of it like this: I'm with James and Lily, finally catching up on old times! The only thing that would make it more perfect was if our third Marauder was here with us, doing the same. I need you to do me an extraordinary favor, Moony. You see, I've just discovered my Godson, well taken care of (excluding those moronic Dursleys) and smart as ever. Spitting image of James, really. I would love to provide Harry with a home but I'm not sure it will ever be possible. I continually reassure him that my name will be cleared, but Fudge has it in for me, as you well know. I just need you to do me this favor…  


I need you to take special care of Harry. You don't need to adopt him or anything (though I'm sure he'd be honored and grateful to escape the foul Dursley house), but just keep a watch on him, to make sure all goes well wherever he is.  


I've also included a package. This is very important, Remus. I need you to give this to Harry on his sixteenth birthday if I am not here any longer. If this parchment malfunctioned and appeared here out by accident, and if I am indeed still alive, then I'll just be nicking the package back from you and doing it myself, of course. But I've studied this enchantment closely and if you're reading this at this moment…I'm sure there was no mistake.  


The package should have appeared somewhere in that bloody wretched kitchen of yours. Along with it is a letter. Be sure to get this to Harry on his sixteenth. It's extremely important. Read it if you must, it does me no injustice if I'm dead. Yes, yes, I see your grim expression now, clicking your tongue and muttering to the parchment telling me not to make jokes. But I reckon that's who I am, Moony. And I always will be. Even if I'm gone.  


You take care, now. Be sure to keep taking Snape's Wolfsbane potion (though check it and make sure the git hasn't poisoned it before-hand) and keep a close watch on the Ministry. One day, give Fudge a swift kick in the arse for me, would you?  


Don't lose faith, Moony. You and James were the best mates I ever had. I had to see one die painfully. I won't be keen on watching it happen again, even from where I am.  


_

Best Wishes,  
Sirius Zeffolon Black  
Padfoot  
One of Four Creators Of Marauder's Map  
Champion Joker  
Favorite (Denied) Student Of McGonagall  


  


Remus read the letter through a fair few times before rising from his seat in pursuit of Harry's gift. At last he discovered it sitting beneath the kitchen table. There it was, a fair-sized (Remus wondered how on earth he missed it before) package addressed to Harry, with a parchment likewise tucked into the twine the kept the package wrapped. 

_~*~…*~*…~*~…*~*…~*~  
**'Cause I'm waiting for tonight  
Then waiting for tomorrow  
And I'm somewhere in between  
What is real and just a dream  
What is real and just a dream   
**~*~…*~*…~*~…*~*…~*~ _

Lupin knew that he should probably respect Harry's privacy, if not Sirius's, but allowed his curiosity to get the better of him. He did, after all, have permission from his friend. He opened the parchment and read it silently to himself, discovering that his letter, too, had been written some time after joining The Order.  


_Dearest Harry-  


If you're reading this, something has happened to me. By the time you read it, of course, I'm sure that you've been alerted of my death. With my involvement in the you-know-what, I'm sure it does not come as much of a shock.  


I've enclosed a package for you for your sixteenth birthday. Happy Birthday, Harry. It is a gift I hope you find most rewarding and helpful. Maybe even get into some mischief like myself and my friends! You deserve this, mate, and it's always been on my mind to someday give it to you. I recovered all these things from your parents' house the night of their attack. I'm sorry I didn't get it all, but a lot of stuff had been burned too badly to salvage.  


I have a confession to make, though I'm sure Dumbledore has informed you of the situation already. The Dark Lord has plans, Harry. He has it in for you. And it's not just because of your mum and dad. It's because a true-life prophecy was made. It stated that one day in the end of July in 1980, a wizard would rise that would be the equal of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. And in which case, the boy would threaten His powers and chance of domination. For in the end, one must kill the other, for both cannot go on to live simultaneously.  


I'm sorry we didn't get the chance, Harry. I'm sorry that we never got that chance. Sorry that we never had the opportunity to purchase one of those beautiful refurbished white houses with the little picket fence surrounding a perfectly cut yard. I would have loved to adopt you, Harry. In fact, it's the one thing I regret most about not accomplishing in my life. It was not only James's will, it was mine, too. I held you when you were only an hour old, Harry…I looked deeply into your undeveloped eyes and made the promise that I would never let anything happen to you in my role of your godfather. I made the vow that you were first and foremost, above everything else. The moment we locked eyes, Harry, I felt as though you weren't just my godson—you _were_ my son. Not in a possessive "I'm-going-to-have-to-kill-James-to-kidnap-you" sort of way—but just in that deep feeling of belonging sort of way. And we never got the chance to make it last…I wish I could make it up to you.  


Confide in Moony. He's an excellent friend, as you have come to realize over the past few years, I'm sure. He knows you almost as well as I do, though you may not be aware. He kept tabs on you too, Harry. Remember that he and I used to baby-sit you while your mum and dad were away. He blew up your high chair once by accident. You just giggled and mimicked him for the next three hours, waving your invisible wand in the air and making ridiculously accurate explosion noises. Remus has never lived it down with me, nor has he quite lost the blush he harbored that night. Ruddy lousy baby-sitter, he was. Well, we both were. But we had so many good times.  


I'm sorry, Harry, I am so sorry. I want to be all those things for you but there is no time. There was never any time for us with this war still happening all around us. If I could make the war disappear and hurry home to adopt you I would. I would do it in a heartbeat. I would give up anything to be your father. And I only wish I could be.  


Watch out for Remus for me, you hear? Both of you need to look out for each other while I'm away. Count on each other—it will prove to be a bond you could not have imagined.  


I'll tell your mum and dad you said hello.  


_

Love,  
Sirius Zeffolon Black  
Padfoot  
Your Godfather  
Your mentor  
Your friend  
  


Remus hurriedly said the spell to reseal the parchment, ignoring the burning sensation of the tears rolling down his cheeks. Sirius's letter to Harry was written perfectly. Remus did not doubt that it had taken him a fairly long time, seeing as he was not the most seriously spoken wizard who ever lived.  


Lupin glanced at the calendar, shuddering slightly at the sight of the full-moon marker on the previous day, July 30th. Today, in fact, was Harry's birthday. It had slipped his mind entirely.  


Quickly he gathered Sirius's things, sprinting outside towards his broomstick. After all, he could not Apparate into the Dursley's living room, nor did he have sufficient time to connect them to the Floo network, nor did he much want to interact with Harry's family at all. So instead he opted for broom travel, which would not take long at all. He mounted and kicked off with his Cleansweep, heading towards Little Whinging, the package magicked securely onto the broom.  


All the while, soaring through the clouds and looking down at the shrunken houses, Remus thought of Sirius's letter and wondered what could possibly be enclosed in the gift he had arranged for Harry. He had said that he had recovered some things from James and Lily's home, but could not, for the life of him, think of what he may be referring to.  


Only a short while later, Remus began to fly down into the Dursley's backyard, observing as down the street Dudley and a group of his friends tormented a student from primary school. He sighed in sympathy, choosing not to interfere, and allowed himself to hover outside Harry's bedroom window. He saw for a moment before Harry recognized his presence that the boy was deeply involved in his book, _Quidditch Through The Ages_. Remus recognized the look of distress on his face, the mask of anger, the—the premature wrinkles. He had, in fact, endured a heart-breaking loss and would never be the same. 

_~*~…*~*…~*~…*~*…~*~  
**Would you catch me if I fall  
Out of what I fell in?  
Don't be surprised if I collapse  
Down at your feet again  
I don't want to run away from this  
I know that I just don't need this  
**~*~…*~*…~*~…*~*…~*~_

At last, he took the opportunity, and knocked gently on the glass. Harry looked up uncaringly towards the window, acknowledging in his eyes that it was Lupin, one of the only people from the Wizarding World that he'd be willing to see at this moment. He hurried over to the window and pulled it open, allowing Remus to fly in.  


The older man touched onto the carpet, taking his broom tightly into a hold in his fist, the package dangling from the wooden handle. He smiled softly at Harry in an effort to comfort the boy about the visit. "Hiya, Harry," he began.  


Harry simply nodded. Through his cold attitude, however, Remus could see the relief in his eyes. "Here for another inspection?" Harry asked in a strange monotone, his eyes slowly averting towards the open window as if expecting Hedwig to arrive home at any given moment.  


Remus shook his head. Yes, he, Arthur, Tonks, Mad-Eye, and the lot had been dropping in one at a time, nearly once a week, to check up on Harry and be sure that the Muggles were treating him well.  


"I've come to talk to you. May I have a seat?" he asked, gesturing to the disheveled bed. Harry nodded mutely, hurrying over to push some books and such out of the way to make room for his older friend. Remus nodded politely in gratitude, sitting on the edge of the mattress. "Thank you."  


Harry was looking at him oddly, as though wondering to what occasion he owed Remus's visit. However, a small light, hardly visible inside his pupil, seemed to shine gratefully. A good-natured visit for no reason was the very thing that could cheer him up, Remus hoped.  


"Happy Sixteenth, Harry," Remus allowed with a grin. Harry lowered his brow slightly, glancing behind him at the calendar, as if not recalling his own holiday of birth himself.  


"Don't tell me you've forgotten," Remus chided playfully, whispering a spell beneath his breath. The cake he had designed in his mind on the way to the Dursleys now appeared in front of Harry, white and blue icing and all. Harry looked up at Remus after studying the cake carefully.  


"What flavor is it?" he asked curiously.  


"Chocolote. I know it's your favorite."  


Harry nodded silently, then looked back up at his friend, a very slight smile on his face. "Thank you for remembering."  


"Not a problem, not a problem," Remus reassured, adjusting the hold on his broom. The swinging of the package painfully into the backside of his head reminded him of Sirius's gift. It was as though Padfoot had delivered him the blow himself, urging him on. Remus merely smiled at the thought and extended the end of his broom towards Harry, offering him to remove the package himself.  


Harry's eyes lit up in curiosity as he reached out for it, detaching it from Lupin's broom. "What is it?" he asked.  


"Couldn't tell you, to be honest," Remus admitted, gesturing to the parchment that came with the gift. "But I'm not the only one who remembered your birthday."  


"Who's it fr—" Harry began, then recognized the handwriting. He looked up at Lupin in question, as if wondering how the gift came into Remus's possession after the recent events.  


"It appeared in my house the moment after…You know," Remus explained carefully, pulling his own letter from Sirius out of his pocket. "I've got one too." Harry set the letter aside and, as a typical teenager, began to rip open the gift first. Remus grinned as, at last, he observed the contents. A photo album of all four Marauders, including Lily. There were pictures in there from Hogwarts, from their wedding, and even—Remus nearly lost his nerve—a photograph of him blowing up Harry's high chair. And it replayed again…and again…and again…Sirius guffawing in the background, Baby Harry giggling repeatedly.  


Harry looked up at Remus, a ghost of a smirk on his face. "What's this, Professor Lupin?" he asked slyly. Remus rolled his eyes, distinctly seeing hints of James's own sneaky remarks, and gestured that he continue.  


Harry did so, digging further into the package that had been presented to him. He pulled out a magical wedding certificate with his parents' wedding rings attached (Remus wondered how Sirius had gotten a hold of the Potter's personal effects); followed by Harry's birth certificate; a certificate of approval from the Ministry Of Magic for destroying the wands of Lily and James Potter following their death, mostly for security reasons; stuffed animals that danced around upon command that Harry had played with as a child, Remus recognized; dried roses that had been given to Lily from James that very day as he came home from work; a book titled, _So You Want To Be An Animagus!_, and, to Remus's disbelief, a folder overflowing with parchment. Remus recognized not only the folder itself but also the emblem they had created across the front. It was a small square in which was written **MARAUDERS** in bold black print. In each corner of the square followed a paw print, a full moon, antlers, and a tail. Symbols of each nickname and animal form.  


"What on earth?…" Harry began delightedly, opening the folder. Remus grinned, knowing what would be uncovered. Inside was jammed full of parchments regarding their transformations. Notes that they had scribbled back and forth. Remus even took the initiative to reach out and take one to look over himself. He recognized a note that had been written in the middle of Transfiguration between Sirius and himself, starting with Moony's own worried scrawl.  


_**[Moony]** - I think McGonagall suspects something…Did you see the way she looked at us when she began discussing Animagi?  


**[Padfoot]** - Don't be ridiculous, Moony. You're imagining things. Besides, if all else fails, we can use a memory charm on her!_  


Remus grinned to himself and handed it back to Harry. Inside the folder were more torn bits of parchment and pages carbon copied from books. Harry looked stunned and amazed all at once. He looked up at Lupin, a new range of emotions on his face, his eyes glossing over with the beginnings of tears he had not yet cried. "Thank you," he whispered.  


"Don't thank me, thank Sirius," Lupin said, half-heartedly pointing a finger towards the ceiling. "Go on, read the letter."  


"Do you know what it says?" Harry questioned deviously, eyes twinkling with more vigor as he eyed Remus.  


"I do, indeed. Go on, read it."  


He did so, murmuring the words out loud though Lupin had already read them once. Even the second time around, Remus felt his eyes tearing over and closed his lids to prevent the salty water from grazing his facial features once more. Once Harry had finished the letter he harbored tears of his own, looking up at Remus for assistance. The older wizard took it upon himself, laying a hand gently on Harry's arm and gazing into his eyes. 

_~*~…*~*…~*~…*~*…~*~  
**'Cause I cannot stand still  
I can't be this unsturdy  
This cannot be happening  
**~*~…*~*…~*~…*~*…~*~ _

"Sirius died for a good cause, Harry," he voiced strongly. "He died doing something he loved: helping you. He could not have wished for a better way to die. And I know that you're hurting. I've been too, you know…I just haven't confessed it to anybody. And though the ruddy _Daily Prophet_ has not even bothered to acknowledge his noble death, _we_ still know. And as long as we've got each other…I reckon we'll be all right." He offered his younger friend a feeble smile in conclusion. Harry smiled gently back.  


"He's wrong, you know."  


Lupin's smile faltered only briefly. "About what, lad?"  


"He says he's sorry he never got the chance to be my father," Harry recalled, stroking the letter with some newfound complacency. He then looked up into Remus's eyes, a profound twinkle residing in its depths. "I wish he only knew that he gave all of that to me and more. He was more than a father to me…He was my _best friend_." 

_~*~…*~*…~*~…*~*…~*~  
**'Cause I'm waiting for tonight  
Then waiting for tomorrow  
And I'm somewhere in between  
Of what is real  
And just a dream  
**~*~…*~*…~*~…*~*…~*~_

**_END_**

**_A/N:_** Did you like it? Yes? No? I thought it was quite good. Please review! 


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